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The Birth of a New LightThe days are cold, the nights grow dark.
The garden has now turned grey.
The icy chill is freezing lake as well as bark.
The first snow has fallen earlier today.

The days are grey, the nights are long.
The garden has now turned white.
But from afar I hear a song
And see a wonderous light.

Up in the winter's dark night-skies
I see a bright new shining star
And in the air a great song lies.
The light seems not so far.

The night - it is the Christmas night -
It has come round now at last.
It turns all the darkness bright.
It gives the world a joyous sight.
It strikes for me a newborn light,
Embraces me with all its might
Before

Star Child in WinterCarefully, I step on the white dusted grass.
The frozen evening dew moistens me.
It is cold – I do not feel it.
Only the silence of the night is all around me.

My hair becomes entangled in an icy wind.
So that I fear to be blown away.
I reach out for the branch of a tree
To seek help and protection.

In front of me I can see the forest in awesome loftiness.
The trees welcome me.
Finally I arrive at the spot I am heading to –
The clearing – a spiritual place.

I stop in the middle of this circle –
Symbol of eternity, image of perfection.
I wait and only my breath can be heard.
Time seems to stand still.

Then, at last – the cloud

Human Prince, Lion King

Son & Lord of the Earth
Prince of Men
King of Beasts
Endowed with Strength
Unbreakable & Undying
Passionate Protector
Great Hunter
who will become the Hunted.

© Everlasting90 (Kevin Blake)

Swan Maiden

Daughter of the Earth
Lady of the Water
Mistress of the Air
Predictor of Storms
Figure of Love & Loyalty,
Strength & Harmony
Blessed by Beauty
& Cursed for it

© Everlasting90 (Kevin Blake)

Sanctum of Wine and Shadow

Upon one Night's tempest, my hunger did beckon ever darkly:
"In nomine dei Nostri Satanas Luciferi Excelsi!"
And in the perfume of immortality, I bathed deep and long ....

Within the labyrinth of melancholy, I am the black flame gleaming;
befallen in the mist when closed thine eyes
Harken thee, River's blush weeping scarlet in nocturnal ballad
In orphaned prophecy, I am the lust of sacrament —
dark enchantment wanton — Hade's syrup undressing in your soul
I have crossed oceans of time, haunted by thy gaze and lips,
lost in whispers of passion dripping like song into folding horizons
Eons spent, yet thy figure dark, I crave solemn

PikeHey, you. Would you throw me a line?
I've been growing old down in this swimming hole ever since I saw my first tadpole. I keep getting fatter and what matters begins to change. I think I want to fully see those funny fractions that gleam in tiny ripples glimpsed while I wait under one dark rock first, then another. I know all the moss under these rocks and the toss of skipped pebbles. I know the sight of something to eat as a treat, but now I'm beat. I'd rather be someone else's feast.

Anybody up there? Throw me a line, would you?
A line I'll take by the hook without even much of a sinker. Just let me have one look. I hear your word-dist

So Long, I Must Be GoingWashington - The American space agency Nasa has lost contact with the 9-year-old Prometheus I space probe to Alpha Centauri, officials have announced. Prometheus was the first to pass through the Oort cloud and send to Earth close-up images of comets and proto-comets found there, on its way to our nearest neighboring star system. Catastrophic hardware failure is suspected, perhaps as the result of collision with space debris.

--

As it turns out, the galaxy is teeming with intelligence, and I found it. Or it found me. Wait, let me back up and start over. I'm new at all this story telling stuff. Never had to do it before.

I'm a deep-sp

happy hollowLook:
I found him in Happy Hollow, the woods that's on the outskirts of the city. He was a little ways off the path me and my sister, Nahla, take to school, 'cept Nahla was sick that day so it was just me by myself. It's not the fastest way to get to school, but we can't go through Northampton or else the bullies that live there will throw dirt clods at us. After I found him I took him to this old shed out there. It's got a hole in the roof but I figured the little guy'd be safe there on account of it's a good ways away from the Northampton houses; plus you can't hardly see it through all the leaves and branches and stuff. His fur was real

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Submitted: October 31, 2012
File Size: 148 KB
Submitted with: Sta.sh

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The Lion's Dreamby *Everlasting90

Literature / Characters & Settings / Sci-Fi & Fantasy / Settings

This is a unofficial snippet from my story "The Lovers." Feedback is truly appreciated. The picture of the lion and the swan is from wallpaper sites.

The Lovers Teaser is now available: [link]. If you're interested, check it out

~Pedigri Mar 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

There's a lot of venom coming from Irixian's comment I noticed, a pro he thinks himself to be shouldn't use destructive criticism that relies on generalisations that aren't really helpful. A true pro would take the time to point out all the things he finds wrong, because it makes him look like he doesn't know what he's talking about and tries to hide it by pretending to be an expert. His comment shows a lot of arrogance (I graced you with reading beyond the first few lines, be thankful to your god).

Though there are things you could work on, this work has its advantages. First of all, the lofty, poetic lenguage created a thick, immersing atmosphere. The sentences looked finely selected, there didn't seem to be filler. You created a great sense of mystery - sure the events taking place in the dream aren't interesting on their own, but you described them in a captivating way. I kept thinking it's a free verse poem and kept looking for rhymes. None stood ouyt, yet the flow is beautiful. You created great tension, I wanted to read further and find out what that noise was, what will happen next. The language is complex yet not pretentious (sure, some may think atramentous or gorgonizing are an example of that, but I love both words, they sound very poetic and beautiful. It sure as hell sounds better than inky, inkly, ink-coloured. The imagery is amazing. I could imagine all the scenery. My ceveat is that the ending seemed forced - we didn't even learn the motive of the villain. This humanoid went great lengths to disguise his form despite the fact its form could be seen in the water. An animal villain makes more sense than a humanlike one here. The idea with the dark swan reflection is great, so it's dissappointing you ruined it with the humanoid. Give the dark swan more offesive magic and keep him in that form.

Keep writing and f**k jaded "pros".
Sure, it might look like you tried to divert attention from uneventfulness, events that were cliche on their own, but that wasn't the goal here and/or you achieved something redeemingly good.

I've read dozens of books on creative writing and have written for years. I'm not that much versed in poetry, but those whose work I critiqued found it helpful. Apparently I can tell a good flow, rhyme, imagery etc. when I see one.

Best wishes.

*Everlasting90 Mar 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I did feel his comment was pretentious. I know there are some things that need work. This was just a little unofficial snippet as to give people a taste of the story.

Thank you for your comment and encouragement. I knew when I got into anything art-related, I was going to get many different opinions. My thing is: If you are content and satisfied with the product you distribute, then that's all that matters. Thanks again

~Pedigri Mar 24, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Yes, but one should never be so content with himself and his work that he refuses to learn or even acknowledge the possibility of improvement. You seem to have the humility to know that there are things that could use work and that's a good sign. One cannot solve problems without acknowledging the problem even exists

And you're welcome

~Irixian Mar 8, 2013 Professional Writer

This is very clunky and amateurish. If I had to make a single suggestion from the hundreds that come to mind, it would be to not use words like "gorgonizing" or "atramentous" when it's clear that you're only using them to punch up sentences that lack enough substance to stand on their own with a more normal vernacular.

When you force words upon your readers in otherwise simply-constructed sentences, rather than draw attention to your skill as a writer, they appear as red flags that shriek, "I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK TO PUT HERE SO I WENT TO THESAURUS.COM AND PICKED SOMETHING WELL BEYOND MY LEVEL OF INTELLECT OR CLASS!"

This needs a lot of work. I actually took the time to read it beyond the first sentence, which is strange for me with something like this. I felt the need to leave you an honest review because the coddling you've been receiving is a disservice to you when, in reality, your writing needs a lot of work.

*Everlasting90 Mar 8, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Well, thanks for your opinion.

~Irixian Mar 8, 2013 Professional Writer

my pleasure. Every field has to be plowed before it can bear fruit. You don't grow anything worthwhile by spreading bullshit on unbroken earth

Hidden by Owner

*Everlasting90 Jan 27, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you

~EJM-Photography Nov 4, 2012

fantastic

you should be proud! i too am writing a novel but your skills put mine to shame haha!

*Everlasting90 Nov 4, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Oh, stop.

You can post writings on here, too. Why don't you post a little snippet of something? I'd love to read it.

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